Springfield Weekly

Song Lyrics

Who hasn't heard the song "Lisa it's Your Birthday", or for that matter Bart's less critically acclaimed "Lisa, you're teeth are pink and green Lisa, you smell like gasoline" ? "The Simpsons" is not a musical; music is simply another reason we love the show From the upbeat themesong, to favourites like "We Put the Spring in Springfield" and "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart", to sheer rip-offs like "Flaming Moes" and " Talkin' Softball" This is a ragtag collection of the lyrics to various Simpsons songs. These take a lot of time to make, so please, ask us before using them on your site.

Season 1

Moanin' Lisa Blues

I got a bratty brother
He bugs me every day
And this morning my own mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My dad he acts like
Like he belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
The saddest kid in grade number 2

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

All: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it,
You would even say it glows
Bart: Like a light bulb!
Homer: Bart!
All: All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names
Lisa: Like Schnozzola!
Homer: Lisa!
All: They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any reindeer games
Bart: Like strip poker!
Homer: I'm warning you two!
All: Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
Marge: Take it Homer!
Homer: Err Rudolph, get your nose over here,
So you can guide my sleigh today
Grampa: Oh, Homer
All: Then all the reindeer loved him,
And they shouted out with glee:
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
You'll go down in history!
Bart: Like Attila the H- ugh, urk!
Homer: You little

Season 2

Capitol City

There's a swinging town I know called
Capitol City!
People stop and scream hello in
Capitol City!
It's the kind of place that makes
A bum, feel like a king
And it makes a king feel like
Some nutty, coo-coo, super king!
(Look, it's Tony Bennet!)
(Hey, nice to see you!)
It's against the law to frown, in
Capitol City!
You'll giggle like a stupid clown
When you chance to see, 4th street and D!
Yeh!
Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam
From Capitol City my home sweet Yeh!
From Capitol City that happy tall city
From Capitol City my home sweet, swinging home!!!!!!

Season 3

Happy Birthday Lisa

Lisa it's your birthday
God's blessed you this day
You gave me the gift of a little sister
And I'm proud of you today
Lisa it's your birthday!
Happy birthday Lisa!
Lisa it's your birthday!
Happy birthday Lisa!
I wish you love and good will
I wish you praise and joy
I wish you better than your heart desires
And your first kiss from a boy
Lisa it's your birthday
Happy birthday Lisa!
Lisa it's your birthday
Happy birthday Lisa!

Talkin' Softball

Well Mr Burns had done it
The power plant had won it, with Roger Clemens clucking all the while
Mile Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the bar room tile
We're talkin softball, from Maine to SanDiego
Talkin' softball: Mattingly and Conceco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw;
Steve Sax and his run-ins with the law
Were talkin Homer, Ozzie and the Straw

Flaming Moe's

When the weight of the world has got you down,
and you want to end your life
Bills to pay, a dead end job,
and problems with the wife
Well don't throw in the towel
cause there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your miseries away
At fla-ming Moes Where liquor in a mug will warm you like a hug
(*harmonizing*) Let's all go to flaming Moe's... Flaming Moe's
And happiness is just a flaming Moe away
Happiness is just a flaming Moe away

Your Wife Don't Understand You

You work all day for some old man, sweat and break your back:
then you go home to your castle, but your queen won't cut you slack
That's why your losing all your hair, that's why your overweight
That's why you flipped your pickup truck right off the inner state
There's a lot of bull around you; there's nothing you can do
Your wife don't understand you, but I do
No your wife don't understand you, but I do
I said no one understands you but I do

Finally Bagged Me a Homer

Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart
when the coach called me up to the plate
I'd been swingin' and missin' and lovin' and kissin'
my average was point double eight
So I spit on my hands, knocked the dirt from my spikes
and pointed right toward center field
This time I'm hittin' a home run
This time my love is for real
I'll slide I'll steal, I'll sacrafice:
I'll lob and fly for you
I've been slumpin all season
but now I've found a reason
I've struck on a love that is true
I used to play the field; I used to be a roamer
But the season's turning around for me now; I finally bagged me a homer
That's right! I finally bagged me a homer

Season 4

Kamp Krusty Song

Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty
By the shores of Big Snake Lake
Though your swings are rusty
We know they'll never break!
From your gleaming mess hall
To your hallowed baseball field
To your spic-and-spam infirmiry
Where all our wounds are healed!
Hail to thee Kamp Krusty
Below Mt Avalanche
We will always love Kamp Krusty!
A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation
All rights reserved!

A Burns Tribute

There is a man There is a man
A certain man
A man who's grace and handsome face are known across the land
You know his name You know his name
It's Mr Burns! It's Mr Burns
He loves to smoke, enjoys a joke ahahahahaha!
Why he's worth ten times what he earns
He's Mr Burns I'm Mr Burns
He's Monty Burns I'm Mr Burns
To friends he's known as Monty but to you he's known as Mr Burns!
Bur bur bur bur Burns!
Burns

Monorail

Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!
Lanley: What'd I say?
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lanley: What's it called?
Patty & Selma: Monorail!
Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud
Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can
Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man
I swear it's Springfield's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lanley: Once again
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[big finish]
Monorail!
Homer: Mono D'oh!

The Mediocre Presidents

We are the mediocre presidents
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents!
There's Taylor, there's Tyler,
There's Fillmore and there's Hayes
There's William Henry Harrison
I died in 30 days!
We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable
Caretaker presidents of the U... S... AAAAA

Lisa's Protest Song

Come gather 'round, children, it's high time, ye learned!
'Bout a hero, named Homer, and a devil, named Burns
We'll march 'till we drop, the girls and the fellas
We'll fight to the death or else fold like umbrellas
'Cause we'll march day and night, by the big cooling towers
They have the plant, but we have, the power!

The Plow King

Linda Ronstadt: When the snow starts a-fallin'
There's a man you should be callin'
That's KL5-4796,
Let it ring!
Mr Plow is a loser,
And I think he is a boozer,
Barney & Linda: So you better make that call to the Plow King!

Homer's Beer Song

When I was 17
I drank a very good beer
I drank a very good beer, I purchased
With a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17

Everyone Loves Ned Flanders

Hens love roosters, geese love ganders;
everyone else loves Ned Flanders!
Not me!
Everyone who counts love's Ned Flanders

Whacking Day

Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day!
We'll break their backs!
Gouge out their eyes!
Their evil hearts we'll pulverize!
Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
May God bestow his grace on thee

Gabbo Theme Song

You're gonna like me, your gonna love me
Cause I can do most anything
I can do the hully gully,
I can immitate Vinc Scully
Lets take a time out from that triple play for this
message from Farmer Dan's pure pork sausages Mmm, mmm
I'll give out shiney dimes
I'll travel back in time
Your gonna like him, your gonna love him
Cause it's the greatest show in town!
Gabbo!

Season 5

Baby On Board

Baby on board
How I've adored
That sign on my car's windowpane
Bounce in my step
Loaded with pep!
'Cuz I'm driving in the car-pool lane!
Call me a square!
Friend, I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice!
Each trip's a trip to Paradise
With my baby on board!

Springfield Springfield!

Springfield, Springfield!
It's a hell of a town!
The school yard's up and
the shopping mall's down!
The stray dogs go to the animal pound!
Springfield Springfield!
New York New York!
New York is that-a-way man!
Thanks kid!
It's a hell of a toooooooown!

Jingle Bells (Robert Goulet)

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost it's wheel
And the Joker got away! Hey!

Who Needs The Kwik-E-mart?

When I first arrived, you were all such jerks!
But now I've come to looove, your quirks!
Maggie with her eyes so bright!
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophize!
Bart's adept at spinning lies!
Homer's a delightful fella!
Sorry bout the salmonella!
Hehe, that's okay!
Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here's the tricky part
Oh won't you rhyme with meeee
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Their floors are sticky-mart!
They made Dad sicky-mart!
Let's hurl a bricky-mart!
The Kwik-E-Mart is real Doh!
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart
Not meeee!
Forget the Kwik-E-Mart!
Goodbye to Kwik-Emart!
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Not me!

Season 6

We Do (The Stonecutters Song)

Who controls the British Crown?
Who Keeps The Metric System Down?
We Do, We Do
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We Do, We Do
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg, a star!
We Do, We Do
Who robs kegfish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We Do... We Doooo!

See My Vest

You see, some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good
See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish Setter!
See this hat, 'twas my cat
My evening wear? vampire bat
These white slippers are albino,
African endangered rhino!
Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest!
So try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two
See my vest, see my vest, see my vest!
Like my loafers?
Former gophers!
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best
So let's prepare these dogs,
Lady: Kill two for matching clogs!
See my vest!
See my vest!
Oh, please, won't you see my vest!

Season 7

Senor Burns

Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Burns will always carry with him
So I'll settle my score, on the salsa floor
with this vengeful Latin rhythm
Burns! Conelcorazon de perro!
Senor Burns! El diablo con dinero!
It may not surprise you, but all of us despise you
Please die... and fry...
In hell... you rotten...
Rich old wretch!
Adios vienjo!

Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z

I hate every ape I see!
From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z!
No you'll never make a monkey out of me!
Oh my god, I was wrong! It was Earth, all along
You finally made a monkey
Yes we finally made a monkey
Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me!
I love you, Dr Zaius!

The Amendment Song

Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
I'm not garbage!
I'm an amendment to be
Yes an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me!
There's a lot of flag-burners
Who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policemen
To beat 'em
'Cuz there's limits to our liberties!
Least I hope and pray that there are
'Cuz those liberal freaks go too far!
But what if you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Then I'll crush all opposition to me!
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gaaaaaay!

Skinner and the Superintendent

Skinner, with his crazyexplanations
The Superintendent's going to need his medication
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggeration
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
Seeeeeymooooour!

Cletus The Slack Jawed Yokel

Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus
The slack-jawed yokel
Most folk'll never lose a toe
And then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus
The slack-jawed yokel

Season 8

Scorpio Theme

Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams, of power and wealth
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employee's health
He'll welcome you into his lair
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest!
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year
And on Fridays the lunch room serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!

We Put the Spring in Springfield

You could close down Moe's or the Quick-E-Mart, and nobody would care
But the heart and soul of Springfield's in our Maison Derriere!
We're the sauce on your cake we're the cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield!
We're the lace on your night gown, the point after touchdown
Yes we put the spring in Springfield!
We're that little extra spice that makes existance extra nice;
a giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad; they seem to entertain your dad!
The gin in your martini, the clams on your linguini;
Yes we put the (boing!) in Springfield!
We remember our first visit; the service was exquisite
Why Joseph I had no idea!
Come on now you were working here!
Without it, we'd have had no fun since March of 1961!
To shut them down now would be twisted,
we just heard this place existed!
The highlights in your hair-do, the extra arms on Vishnu!
So don't take the (boing!)
We won't take the (slide whistle)
Yes let's keep the (crash) in Spriiiiiiiingfield!

Minimum Wage Nanny

If you wish to be our sitter
Please be sweet and never bitter
Help us with math and book reports
Might I add eat my shorts!
Bart!
Just cuttin' through the treacle
If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her
Let me get away with moider
Teach us songs and magic tricks
Might I add, no fat chicks!
Homer!
The nanny we want is kindly and sage
And one who will work for minimum wage
Hurry nanny things are grim
I'll do it!
Anyone but him!

Cut Every Corner

If there's a task that must be done, don't turn your tail and run;
don't pout, don't sob
Just do a half assed job
If you cut every cornet it is really not so bad
Everybody does it, even Mom and Dad
If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad
It's the American way!
The policeman on the beat needs some time to rest his feet
Fighting crime is not my cup of tea
And the clerk who runs the store, can charge a little more
For meat For meat
And milk And milk From 1984
If you cut every corner you'll have more time for play
It's the American way!

A Boozehound Named Barney

In front of a tavern flat on his face,
a boozehound named Barney is pleading his case
Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass
Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass
Buy me a brandy, a snifter of wine
Who am I kidding, I'd drink turpentine
Move it your drunk, or I'll blast your rear end!
I found two bucks!
Then come in my friend
And so, let us leave on this heartwarming adf
Can I be a boozehound?
Not 'till your 15

Happy With Things the Way They Are

Around thehouse, I never lift a finger!
As a father and husband I'm sub-par
I'drather drink a beer than win father of the year!
I'm happy with things the waythey are
I'm getting used to never getting noticed
I'm stuck here 'till I can steal a car
The house is still a mess and I'm going bald from stress,
But we're happy with things the way they are
They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbor
Shut up Flanders
Okily-Dokily-Doo!
Don't think it's sour grapes but you're all a bunch of apes!
And so I must be leeeeaving youuuuuuu!

Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Theme Show

They fight and bite!... and bark!
They fight and fight and bite... and bark!
Fight fight fight!... woof woof woof!
The Itchy and Scratchy... and Poochie show!

Season 9

Checkin' In

He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent
Freaked out behavior both chronic and recent
Drinking and driving narcotics possession
And that's just page one of his ten page confession
I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us
But this is LA and your rich and famous!
I'm checkin' in He's checkin' in
I'm checkin' in Checkin' checkin' checkin'
No more pills or alcohol, no more pot or Damerol
No more stinkin' fun at all!
I'm checkin' in He's checkin in
No more looking pale and thin;
No more bugs beneath your skin
Hey that's just my aspirin!
Chuck it out! your checking in!

The Garbageman Can

Who can take your trash out?
Stomp it down for you?
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy-doo?
The Garbage Man!
Yes the Garbage Man Can!
The Garbage Man can and he does it with a smile and never judges you
Whocan take this diaper?
I don't mind at all!
Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball?
The Garbage Man!
Yes the Garbage Man can
The sanitation folks are jolly friendly blokes
Courteous and easy-going!
They'll mop up when you're over flowing!
And tell you when your arse is showing!
Who can?
Who can?
Who can?
Who can?
The Garbage Man can!
'Cause he's Homer Simpson, man!
He cleans the world... for... you!

Canyonero Theme

Can you name the truck with 4-wheel drive?
Smells like a steak, and seats 35!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Well it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown
Canyonero! Canyonero! - Hey Hey!
Twelve yards long, two lanes wide
Sixty-five tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Top of the line in utility sports!
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
She blinds everybody with her super-high beams!
She's a squirrel-squashin' deer-smackin' drivin' machine
Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero! Whoa Canyonero, Whoa!

All in the Family Parody

Oh the way the Bee Gee's played
Movies John Travolta made
Guessing how much Elvis weighed
Those were the days!
And you knew where you were then!
Watching shows like Gentle Ben
Oh we could use a man like Sheriff Lobo again
Disco Doug and Fleetwood Mac
Coming out of my eight-track
Michael Jackson still was black
Those were the days!

Season 10

Kids vs. Adults

Adults!
Kids!
Adults!
Kids! You had your fun now we've had our fill
Yeah! You're only here cause mom forgot her pills
Kids! You're bunch of scandalizing, vandalizing punks,
Channel hopping, Ritalin popping monkeys! (just don't quit the fan club)
Kids, I can nag and nag till my hair turns blue
Kids! You bum my smokes and don't say thank you
Why can't you be like we are? Oh what a bunch of brats!
We oughta drown you just like cats
Adults! you you run our lives like your Colonel Klink
Adults! you strut around like your farts don't stink
Adults! you're a drooling, snoring, brusing, boring bunch
3 martini, lunchers!, (I just ate a thumb tack)
Adults, they're always telling us what to do
Shut your traps!
We're fed up with all of you whipper snaps
We're trying to get some sleep here, it's almost 6:15
What's the matter with
Don't you treat us like
Can't you just lay off
We're all sick of you
Kids, to-daaaaaay!

Season 11

Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl

Stretch dude and clobber girl!
He's a human rubber band and she's the hulk in pearls
He's a limber lad, she's a powerful lass
He'll ring your neck, and she'll kick your ass
They're stretch dude and clobber girl!
Stretch dude and clobber girl!
Stretch dudeand clobber girl!

Testify

I was a sinner, a real bad kid
What thou shalt not, I shalt did
Neighbors cat I tried to neuter,
took a wiss on the school computer
He took a wiss oh yes he did!
Now I've changed you can't deny,
so come on upand testify!
Testify, testify, come on up and testify!
My hip's misbhavin'
Testify!
Got a nicotine cravin
Testify!
There's a cramp in me glavin'
Testify, testify, testify!
My glasses make me look like a geek
Now you'll get the girls you seek!
We'll see you at makeout creek
Bart's the boy of the hour, he's got the power
So raise your voice and don't be shy,
Test-i, test-i,
Testiiiiiiiify! Come on up and testify!

My Horse Must Lose

Freaks! Freaks! Freaks!
We are the jockeys, jockeys are we
We live underground in a fiberglass tree
Ho! Who! He!
We nerthe and help, we rain supreme,
On toadstools grown by a chocolate stream
But all is not well in jockey town
Your renegade horse is making us frown
What do you want me to do?
Your horse must lose!
My horse must lose?
No win! No show! No place!
Just loooooose the stinkin' race
And what if I refuse to lose?
We'll eat your brains!
...
My horse must lose!

A Book About a Man

In a motel room in Delacroix,
I was drinking like a Dartsmouth boy,
And thinkin' 'bout the wrong turns that I took
Well I woke up on the puke green floor,
And opened up a dresser drawer,
Lookin' for a bottle but instead I found a book
A book about a man!
A book about the dude who lives above
A book about a man!
Who drives a pickup full of sweet, sweet love
Now if you think he doesn't care,
Or maybe that he isn't there,
It's not too late to see how wrong you are
So when your soul has gone astray,
Just let G-d be your triple-A,
He'll tow you to salvation and he'll overhaul your heart!

Season 12

This Log Is Your Log

This log is your log, this log is my log,
when lightening struck it, it hit the bucket
I poured some onions, inside my trousers
This log, used to be a tree
Now it spreads love to you and me
Look out, it's headed out to sea

Party Posse

Party Posse, we rule the earth,
greatest band since music's birth
We love to sweat and we love to sing,
We're really funky but not threatening
We're the best band in the world,
but we'd give it all up for that special girl
Your that special girl! Special girl
Your that special girl! Only you

The Spelling Bee

I saw you last night at the spelling bee
I knew right then that it was L-UV
I've got to spell out what you mean to me,
Cause I can no longer a bea silent G
I've gotta spell out, I've gotta spell out
I've gotta spell out what you mean to me

Drop Da Bomb

Oh say can you rock!
There's trouble in a far off nation
Time to get out in love formation
Your love is more deadly than Saddam,
That's why I gotta drop da bomb!
Party Posse!
Yvan Eht Nioj, Yvan Eht Nioj, Yvan Eht Nioj
This party is happenin, it's no mirage
So sing it again, Yvan Eht Nioj
Yvan Eht Nioj!

Season 13

Ode to Branson

Remember the stars, you loved yesterday?
Where did they go? Did they all pass away?
Was it drugs or a car crush,
or a face lift gone wrong?
No they're right here in Branson
and they're singing, this song!
My name is Charo, I shake my maracas
Remember me foo, I was BA Barachas
We're the performers you thought were dead,
like Bonnie Franklin and Adrienne Zmed
Branson's the place we can always be found
They took NICK at Night and made it a town
You can call me Ray or you can call me Jay
Just don't call me washed up, I do three shows a day
Charlie Callas doesn't sleep in the ground
Yes I'm still alive and I'm making me sound
vup hi vup hala voop voop
So sit back, relax, and watch our revue!
In Soviet Union, revue watches you!

They'll Never Stop the Simpsons

Ulman shorts, Christmas show
Marge's fling, Homer's bro
Bart in well, Flanders fails,
Whacking snakes, monorail
Mr Plow, Homer in space
Sideshow Bob steps on rakes,
Lisa's future, Selma's hobby,
Marge not proud, Homer chubby
Homer worries Bart is gay
Poochie, U2, NRA
Hippies, Vegas, and Japan,
couplets, and Bart's boy band,
Marge murmurs, Maude croaks,
Lisa's Buddhist, Homer tokes,
Maggie blows Burns away... What else do I have to say!
They'll never stop the Simpsons
Have no fears, we've got stories for years, like:
Marge becomes a robot
Maybe Moe gets a cell phone
Has Bart ever owned a bear or
How about a crazy wedding?
Where something happens and do do do do
They'll never stop the Simpsons! Sorry for the clipshow!
Have no fears, we've got story for years!

Season 14

You're a Bunch of Stuff

You took a 20 carrot diamond and made it gleam
Like a big spaghetti dinner, smothered in whip cream!
You're like X-men number three in a milard bag
You're a brand new muscle car and all the wheels of mag
You make me feel as young as the blood I get from sheep
You're like Jaclyn Basset in my favorite filmThe Deep
You're sexy and exotic like a hooker from Bales,
Or a patient with insurance who is crawling with disese
You're a sundae underneath your great big cherries
But remember that they're only temper-or-ar-y!
But we'd like to say that we are very very
Glad to see you
And I degree you; the hottest chick to hit this city since the fire that killed 11(gasp)
dangerous criminals!
Hooray!
And they're all mine!

I've Grown Accustomed to His Face

I've grown accustomed to his face!
And dreams of gouging out his eyes!
I've grown accustomed to my hate; my plans to lass array;
To disembowel, to hear him howl,
The very reason that I live,
Is plotting how to watch him die!
Bart, turn down that original cast recording and go to sleep!
I know this chubby scalawag has made my life a living hell
And surly if I drank his blood I'd beat at peace but when?
You've grown accustomed to my face
This isn't a duet!
Sorry!
I've grown accustomed to your fear; to revenge; accustomed to
your face!

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders

Everybody in the USA
hates their stupid neighbor
He's Flanders and he's really, really, lame!
Flanders tried to wreck my song,
his views on birth control are wrong
I hate his guts and Flanders is his name
F-L-A-N-D-E-R-S, he's the man that I hate best
I'd like to see his house go up in flames!
F-L-A
His name is Ned!
E-R-S
That's a stupid name!
He's worse than Frankenstein or Dr No!
You can't upset him even slightly,
he just smiles and nods politely,
then goes home and worships nightly
His leftorium is an emporium of Woo!
F-L-A
Don't yell at Ned!
D-E-R
His wife is dead
Everybody hates that stupid jerk
Springfield's caught with Homer's joyous loathing!
Filling clubs, with angry valentinos
You don't have to move your feet,
just hate Flanders to the disco beat
He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighbourino!
If you like polite left-handers then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
or his creepy little offspring Rod and Tod
That's us Hooray!
F-L-A
His name is Ned!
E-R-S
He is so white bread
The smiling mustache geek who walks with G-d!

I Love to Walk

I like to walk down the avenue, bust a move with disco Stu
You shake me from my booty to me fro
Yes I strut down the boulevard, burning off my excess lard
I rarely feel the need to water down
Top of the morning ladies!
Bite us
I can walk from Springfield to Alaska
Then hop out with the stars in Malibu
Hey Homer, I'm actor Steve Buscemi
The guy who get fed into the wood chipper in Fargo?
And when I hear "You can't walk to Turkmenistan!"
I say of course I can, screw you
Hey, would you guys like tickets to the independent film awards?
Would we?!?
Oh I love to crabolate, standing still I really hate
So let me please reinerate,
I love to(gets hit by car)

It's Me and You Again

You hooked up in highschool,
now you've come so far
Then you started to hate him,
and hit him with your car
So I threw you a fancy banquet,
and now you can't stay mad
How about a makeup snuggle,
it would be so rad(talking)
when you turn out the light, I gotta hand it to me
It looks like it's you and me again tonight,
Marjorie

Season 15

Don't Vote For Me, Kids of Springfield

I'm not that cool, I don't wear jeans,
I've polished an apple or two
But every grit that I grubbed,
I grubbed it for you
So call me bookworm,
but I'll never squirm when there's work to be done
Yes I'll take my lunch at my desk,while you're all outside having fun
Don't vote for me, kids of Springfield,
Unless you want an effective leader,
I'll talk to teachers, I'll handle Skinner,
A vote for Lisa makes you the winner!
Vote Lisa! Vote Lisa! Vote Lisa!

I Am Their Queen

You wanted to see me?
Actually Lisa, I wanted you to see you! You're our president now, but you look like the first lady of yawn
Well what would you change?
Eyes, pearls, smile, hairpoints, dress, voice, shoes, Swatch watch!
I may be a new girl, But you can't brainwash me
Just Oshkosh B'Gosh me, and then leave me be
To fight for kid power, I must be heard, not seen
I have to lead wisely, not just primp and preen!
Nails, dimples, ears, scrunchie, pearls, lunchbox, teeth, Milhouse!
This beauting-up suits me, there's beauty within me
So let's Olsen Twins me, give them something to love
This grownup makeover, has made me a super-tween
For they are my people, and I am their queen!

Evil Plan

I'm so happy with my evil plan,
say goodbye to music, gym, and art!
Soon we will have the perfect school,
where fun and excitement never start
I'm so drunk I can barely see
But it helps me get through another day
My stomach is filled with haggis and hahn,
I've gotta go puke in some hay
Lisa is a fool!
I think the rules are cool!
I've fallen in the pool!

Kids of Springfield

Poor Lisa, Poor Lisa, Poor Lisa!
Don't cry for me kids of Springfield,
You can still reach me through email,
at smartgirl 6 3, underscore backslash,
at yahoo dot com, at yahoo dot com!

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